#TBT: How the Sassy Girl Got Her Groove Back
2:22 PMYou don't know this about me...but I was a very sassy kid.
A sassy, smart and funny little girl with a whole lot of style. I mean, A WHOLE LOT. Seven to ten year old me wore the crap out of some cute stuff.
I mean, check out the adorbs.
But then that girl became a pre-teen, and then, even worse...a teenager. (Oh, the horror.) For some girls, those teen years were the time that they became more themselves and blossomed into the young people they were supposed to be. For me, that was when I retreated back into myself. Sure, at home and with a select few, I was a fun-loving and "sweet" daughter and friend. But I wasn't sassy anymore. I started wearing jeans and tees pretty much every day. I let my hair do whatever it wanted or, as my mom always said, I liked to "scrape it off my face" into a ponytail. I did theater, but I was never myself: I only wanted to stand out when I was playing someone else.
I can't say any one reason why I became this way. I got picked on, sure, but it wasn't anything over the top. I had a hard time dealing with some things that were going on...but who didn't have a rough time? I can say with honestythat at that time in my life, I struggled with depression under the surface. The fake bravado I displayed to my parents and close friends was a facade. I felt a little like a crumbled cookie on the inside: still good, but in pieces. And my wardrobe was an outer expression of that inner crumbly feeling. I lacked the confidence to let myself be noticed.
So what happened to get you to this girl you see today?
Well, first this girl got a best friend.
Best friends are wonderful people, but they ca't MAKE you do anything. What my best friend did for me was to acknowledge the person I really was: sweet, sure; but also sarcastic, intelligent, fun and yes, very sassy. She didn't let me hide myself from her. I don't know if that was what she was trying to do, but that's exactly what she did. Because of her encouragement, I started to blossom. (That and an immense number of lectures she gave me about fashion sense).
Second, this girl started talking.
I always despised therapy. I had known a few people who'd been through it, and I didn't think I needed it. I was tough. I could handle my problems without help, thank you. But I finally broke after a lot of things went down in a short period of time in my mid-twenties. And I felt better. More importantly, the whole thing made me be honest with myself; an honesty that I carry through to this day. Each time I let a secret go, I feel like a fuller feeling of my inner self. And that's a great thing.
And third...I let my sassy girl loose.
After I'd opened myself up to others and let my secrets and fears out of their hiding places, I started to feel better. I started talking more. I started expressing my opinion to others (LOUDLY). And, most relevant to this blog, I started dressing in a way that expressed my true, inner, sassy self.
So now, gaining on seventeen years after the sassy little girl disappeared, she came back--as a sassy woman. I love my family, my friends, and my significant other. I love that I'm going to be a badass lady lawyer one day soon. I love being a feminist. I love running a fashion blog. I am today the best version of myself that I have ever been, and I hope that tomorrow I will be an even better version of myself than I am today.
The words I am about to say as a fashion blogger are shocking: clothes are NOT everything. But I do think that fashion is an expression of our inner selves; the self we are willing to display to the world. And now, today, I use clothes as one means to show more of myself than I ever have.
So how do you express your sassy side?
xoxo
Carisa
xoxo
Carisa
2 comments
Carisa - this is so perfect. So many of us that you'd never even realize had this experience. I love that you're letting your sassy girl fly!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Cailin! I agree--I think this is a really common experience. I'm glad to share my story if it helps one person break out the sassy on the inside!
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