#festivefriday: It's My {Birthday} Party

12:18 PM

Hi guys!! Happy Friday!


Well, in case you hadn't seen my exciting declaration all over the internet--it's my birthday!!!!! I'm 28 today. I can hardly believe it.

I usually like to take my birthday to reflect on the previous year and the changes it's brought me. It's so close to New Year's Eve that I don't even have to bother with a reflective New Year's post. And this year...wow, what a year it's been.

Since turning 27, I have realized that it's time to be my most authentic self. I am talkative and funny and weird and pretty and smart and valuable (that was a lot of ands!). I have never let myself say I was all of those things are true because it would sound immodest or bragg-y. But after a year if reflection, at 28, I'm ready to let myself say I'm an awesome and worthwhile person out loud, to others. And that's okay. In fact, it's beautiful.

Twenty seven was also the year I made the decision to be honest about my sexuality, a thought I've struggled with for a couple of years now. I worried for a long time what others would think. I worried that I'd be rejected, questioned, or not believed. I worried my family wouldn't speak to me anymore. (As you can see, I did a lot of worrying for a long time.) But I think every person comes to a tipping point where they're tired of worrying, where they can no longer live a lie to those who love them most. And I hit that this year. I have been extremely blessed for the warm, loving and accepting reception I've gotten. Mostly people just nodded and moved on. Some were surprised. Some were not. And having a new relationship blossom with a woman I care so much about has been the icing on the cake. 

But the point is here that letting go, being honest with and learning to love myself more openly--these have been the achievements of my twenty seventh year on earth. I am a better me than I was a year ago; I am a happier me. I think the process of physical and emotional evolution is the best part of our existence. It's the opportunity to become our best selves, one year at a time. 

I am grateful for the opportunities this little blog has given me to be myself, to be more authentic and more open. I hope that that continues next year too.

My greatest hope for the next year is not that I get the best internship, earn more money, or get amazing grades (though all that would be nice). My hope is that I will look back 364 days from today and I will see that I am a better person than I am today: more compassionate, less selfish; a better daughter, sister and friend. These are my dreams. They are small, but they keep me ambitious as I move forward.

Thanks for all your love and support in my life--it means the world.

Cheers to another year!











xoxo

Carisa








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